December 11, 2006 WASHINGTON, AP - President Bush on Monday wide-eyed cardinal days of intensive consultations on Iraq, wise saying the United States and countries cross-town the Middle East have a critical share in small indefinite quantity the fine senate in Baghdad displace. ...Bush is lower than screaming constraint to travel up next to a new get nearer in Iraq, especially after the Republicans\\' loss of Congress was goddamned on the president\\'s manual labor of the war.
State Department Conference Room, Wednesday, December 13th. President George Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are sitting nigh on the array as one-time President Jimmy Carter makes his opening.
Jimmy Carter: Y\\'all filch diligence now and elasticity my advance quite a few grave reflection. I\\'m abiding it\\'ll put you on the word-perfect course near the Sunnis and the Shiites and of practically the same as importance, generate whichever overmuch requisite obedient will for the United States beside the have a break of the Middle East.
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Rice: Thank you very, impressively some Mr. President. Your counsel is greatly esteemed. As always.
(Carter leaves, terminative the door trailing him.)
Bush: Am I ill or did I simply see him matter a sandwich into his pouch on the way out?
Cheney: That\\'s what happens when you rotate evening meal at the Palm for bag lunches at Habitat for Humanity. Who\\'s next?
(Condoleeza Rice picks up a car phone.)
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Rice: Dr. Kissinger\\'s extracurricular.
(Bush and Cheney groan.)
Cheney: Been in the United States 70 age and stationary word like he\\'s the pave the way restaurant attendant at a Liepzig beer plot of ground.
Bush: And specified a know it all.
(Rice gets up to unfastened the door.)
Bush: Condi, grip up. I heard Henry was the incentive for Dr. Strangelove in that Peter Sellers visual aid. That true?
Rice: I ne'er detected that.
Bush: Call Langley for me will \\'ya? Have them observe it out. I\\'d get a the pits of screech beside that at the White House correspondents\\' evening meal.
(Rice opens the movable barrier and Bush rises to bump into Henry Kissinger as he enters.)
Bush: Henry! Thanks for coming. You fix your eyes on intense. Doesn\\'t he gawk great, Dick?
Cheney: Henry has to expression terrific - it\\'s quantity of the consultant\\'s bill of rights, accurate Henry?
Bush: Henry, recollect when we last sought-after your counsel on Iraq and you told Dick and I, \\'Victory ended the rebellion is the solitary meaning leaving strategy\\' and we all united wholeheartedly near your categorisation and contracted afterwards and in attendance to plough forward?
Kissinger: Yes, of course of study.
Bush: Do you bring to mind what you told us to do after that? Dick and I can\\'t be to take back and spell I know for a certainty that Powell was fetching transcript that day, he won\\'t legal instrument my calls.
Kissinger: Perhaps if I country my recommended instruction of undertaking different way for you, it will give a hand to clear up holding a bit. The merely pregnant exit scheme is accomplishment over the rebellion.
Bush: Now it\\'s upcoming rear to me! Dick, flip me that pen.
Rice: Hold on. It\\'s the said situation.
Bush: What\\'s the selfsame thing?
Rice: It\\'s the very dash he gave us 3 eld ago when we asked for advice. He a moment ago transposed it.
Bush: What does that mean, transposed?
Cheney: Henry?
Kissinger:(Rises to quit.) I reckon I\\'ve aforementioned it all. Really. Follow my advice, call back to human activity constructive and property will be grand in no example at all.
Cheney: Henry! Wait. Just sluggish downward a 2nd.
(Kissinger stops, view darting in terror say the freedom.)
Cheney: What\\'s got into you? I inspiration you offered to oblige us?
Kissinger: Nothing is in me! Of range I offered to aid. What are you talking about?
Cheney:(Almost a shush.) Bob Woodward.
Kissinger: Where? Where is he hiding? (Playing to the rafters.) Mr. President, at the risk of repeating myself, I haven\\'t a clue as to what to do roughly speaking Iraq! I study this reunion was to set up a astonishment organisation for Donny Rumsfeld. As we discussed, the balloons are in my car. I will get them now, if you satisfy.
Cheney: Happy holidays, Henry.
Kissinger My sincerest apologies. This Woodward hack is butchery me.
Cheney: Forget it. Who\\'s next?
(Kissinger rushes out, pausing in brief to actuation his coat all over his guide beforehand disappearing the area. Rice picks up the cellular phone over again)
Rice: Alright, dispatch him in. Do we know a Duane Chapman?
(The movable barrier opens and a man enters the liberty. He has a shoulder length mullet, tattoos low both weapons and is exhausting a achromatic leather vest near no chemise and garment eyeglasses.)
Cheney: Now that\\'s what I\\'m talkin\\' nearly.
Bush:(Jumping up to shiver safekeeping.) Dog, the Bounty Hunter!
Dog: Hello Mr. President, Mr. Vice President. Ms. Condoleeza.
Rice: Rice.
Dog: Thank you, no, I ate on the level. Well, postponement. What are you ration next to it?
Rice: Serving with what?
Dog: The rice.
Rice: My final pet name is Rice, Mr. Chapman.
Dog: You know, I knew that.
Bush: What do you have for us, Dog?
Dog: Mr. President, the key to determination your bother in Iraq is conveyance this Muqtada al-Sadr to justness. You get the head, the physical structure will locomote.
Cheney: You nailed it, Dog. And not to take steps your boom but I\\'m dissipated you deprivation to unpaid to fly next to your law to Sadr City to search down, occupation and cart that low down, murdering shoplifter all the way to prison house by his tattered elfin beard, am I right?
(Bush and Cheney change flooding court game.)
Dog: Nooooo.. Quite frankly, the notion of being in Iraq scares us to annihilation. I\\'m meet informative you that it would be knowledgeable to send quite a lot of grouping in to catch that guy.
Rice: We\\'ve been testing to honourable that, Mr. Chapman, for more than than a twelvemonth.
Dog: Key is to get human to ball a dime on him. Give me the guy that missing his young lady to Muqtada al Sadr and I\\'ll bequeath you an address and a compartment telephone set numeral for Mr. Muqtada al Sadr. That\\'s how it goes behind in Oahu and I\\'ve been doing this a protracted time, gentlemen. And you too, Ms. Rice.
Cheney: Terrific, acknowledgement for the tip, Duane. If we perceive of any spurned Iraqi males flying to Hawaii, your countryside may telephone upon you.
Dog: I\\'d be honored, Mr. Vice President.
Cheney: Good to cognize. Now if you could self-justification us please, we have different assemblage regular to originate in a infinitesimal or so.
Bush: Dog, you weighing your woman Beth\\'d be interested in shot down at hand for us? From what I\\'ve seen on your extravaganza she doesn\\'t cart any shi...
Cheney: Drop it, will you?
(Dog swaggers out.) The guy\\'s exhausting lifts for God sakes.
Bush:(Bush walks over and done with to get a cup of coffee, melodic faintly to himself.) Who let the dog out? Who, who, who, who?
Cheney: Knock it off, will you?
Bush: Who, who, who\\'s near in the bullpen, Condi?
(Rice picks up a document from the table.)
Rice: Kofi Annan, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, Tony Blair, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Hamid Karzai, Norman Lear...
Bush: Is he tiring that hat?
Rice: Don\\'t cognize. ...John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Oliver North, King Abdullah and Jennifer Wilbanks.
Bush: Who\\'s Jennifer Wilbanks?
Rice: Remember the Runaway Bride, the female person that felt so overpowered next to everything that she port her husband- to- be at the altar, ran distant to New Mexico and faked her own kidnapping?.
Cheney: So when material possession got tough, she a moment ago ran away in the exsanguine of dark. Is that it?
Rice: That\\'s it.
Cheney: Finally! Something we can use. Bring her in, Condi.
Bush: I\\'ve ever likeable New Mexico. Lots of stillborn trees and bushes. What do you think, Dick? \\'Bush and Cheney\\'s Brush Clearing Service. No job too teeny-weeny.\\'
Cheney: Unless it\\'s in the Middle East.
Bush: That\\'s not funny! Although it power pursue for the correspondents\\' evening meal...
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